2009 Blogs

Where do you go from here?

02/14/2010

I am a little perturbed. I spent four hours on a test yesterday for one of my online classes. It was hard and took a significant chunk out of my weekend so maybe I was too hopeful for expecting a descent grade? Okay, I got a C on it so that isn't really bad like a D or F would be and I still have a B in the class. But I thought I knew the material and okay I admit I haven't really put much effort into any of my classes so it isn't like I was expecting any better. I am just really aggravated because I have tried both scenarios. I have tried doing everything from reading the material and studying but it never helps me! I keep asking why am I like this? There are so many things running through my head right now. I don't understand because I do feel like I tried and maybe not my best but I did try. It is hard to read the material because I don't understand it and do not have the patience to sit there and read something that I have no idea what I just read. Another annoyance... I don't get to see how I did on the exam so I have no idea now what I need to work on therefore learning it makes it that much harder... so what if I failed something I thought I knew pretty well and turns out I was wrong all along? It has been so hard for me lately because for the past year I have not been full time- halftime or less because I was so busy working so that I could pay tuition I lost out on my education that is the only reason I am here in the first place. I don't know what to do anymore but I firmly believe that if I didn't have a job- I would have done so much better on all of my studies and probably be done this year instead of having to wait until December to graduate. I guess it is a good thing I am working in the library now and not working where I used to. More time to figure it all out is always a good thing. I just don't know where to go from here... I don't think I need tutoring and the classes I need aren't available on campus which is a huge downfall but nice in its own way. Well I guess we will see how this week goes and hopefully we don't get much snow because I really need to work on Tuesday!

Amanda