2011 Blogs

Mushy Memories...light the corners of my mind.

03/20/2012

Kels

Can I get sappy with you guys today? I’m going to get honest here and let you know that I haven’t really done any school work for a solid week. Yes, I've read for class and gone to lectures but I don’t have any essay deadlines or any scary exams coming up so I have been catching up on a lot of American TV shows like SMASH, which is mind blowing, FYI and have been reading about the psychology of eating which I plan to focus on for my Honors thesis at IUE. But back to the point of this mushy post, random conversations I’ve had with others in my class about growing up have been weighing heavily on me lately. I was talking with a girl on campus today about how quickly this year has gone by and she agreed saying how she really doesn't want to grow up and will continue to fight adulthood as long as she can. I also was catching up with my best friend last night and she was telling me all about the new job she got this summer working as a pharmacy technician (she’s in pharmacy school) and how crazy her schedule will be with school and work and quite frankly, she made me feel like a lazy piece of poo. Haha. I haven’t even thought about where I want to go to graduate school, what my requirements are for applying, how long my program will take and my plan was to not work this summer but rather take it easy and relax while I can before I take a full load of courses in the fall. I guess if truth be told, I actually really just don't want to think about the future at all. I have always felt like I had all the time in the world for my future; it was always something I referred to without actually thinking about, but my “someday” came suddenly and I am beginning to realize that I’m 21 and almost a grown-up, no matter how much I don’t want to be.

Kels

Osh-Kosh overalls? FIERCE!

The weather here today was wonderfully spring-like and sunny and it reminded me of the new spring days when I was younger, where I would rollerblade all day after school in my Hanson t-shirt and come home to my mom making dinner with ingredients and meals she ordered from the Schwan’s man. It’s weird but I’ll never forget that feeling of being kind of cold but sweaty and red-faced coming into my warm, homey kitchen and eating dinner followed by those weird tasting ice cream cups from the Schwan’s man that I thought were the best things ever made. And because I was feeling old and sentimental, today I propped my window open, let the sun shine on me (which is my favorite way to nap, EVER), covered myself with a blanket and laid down to watch The Wizard of Oz. Now this déjà vu moment comes from my grandma’s where I would spend almost every day with her and my grandpa at their house until I was four (she was the free babysitter for when my parents were at work). The Wizard of Oz was my favorite movie (I was Dorothy for like four Halloweens when I was younger, it was in full rotation with Princess Jasmine) and my grandma’s house has always been (and will always be) a sort of dreamy retreat for me. All of her curtains are white, light and flowing and let the spring/summer country breeze come in, her house is always clean and it has a certain delicious smell to it of food and clean linen. One of my first memories is me lying on her floor during the day and taking naps while watching movies, preferably The Wizard of Oz because of Toto, Dorothy and the Lollipop Kids. Napping like I did today made me feel safe and little and was just what I needed to feel a bit better about my future, which seems to loom. I know that college kind of prepares you for adulthood, and studying abroad DEFINITELY makes you feel like an adult and forces you to grow up, but like my friend earlier today, I am going to try and fight adulthood for as long as possible. Today, especially, I wish I was still little, rollerblading down my sidewalk after school just waiting for those rainbow sprinkle ice cream cups after dinner...siiiigh. Kels xx Kels

First dance recital. I was born a DIVA. Ha!